How I killed myself

 

There were times when all I wanted was to be ALONE,
There were times when only tears were my source of comfort,
There were times when I felt I would never be good enough,
There were times when I repeatedly told myself “I would never amount to anything.”

No matter how hard I try to read motivational quotes,
No matter how I considered my academic record,
Even when I thought things could change in the nearest future,
My mood still remained dark & moody.

I secretly battled myself,
It was a constant struggle,
My faces were full of smiles,
While on the inside, I was groping for light,
Constantly searching for meaning in all these.

It was INTENSE,
Countless moments where nothing made sense,
Efforts appear futile,
A resignation was the only way out.

Until I realized that I was COMPARING myself to others,
Not understanding that we are different & I was UNIQUE,
Not knowing that people reveal only their success stories, what happens before then is left out,
That though we are all connected, I don’t have to compare.

I can be ME. You can be you. Together we COLOR the world.

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Published by

Emmanuel Aginam

Passionate about building self esteem and self confidence. Always a LEARNER.

7 thoughts on “How I killed myself”

  1. Comparison to others is a hard habit to break. Great work in recognizing it was making you miserable. Now it just takes a continual awareness to see and change those unconscious comparisons ❤️🙏

    Liked by 1 person

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